By Julia Rahn
Do any of these
scenarios sound familiar?
You hate when your
boss constantly points out mistakes you have made and you know what
you could do different, but for some reason you don't make these
changes.
On many a night,
you vow to yourself to exercise in the morning, eat healthier foods
the next day, and/or not have that alcoholic beverage when you get
home from work. It is now morning, your alarm clock sounds and you
decide to hit the snooze button six times making you rush to get
to work on time, eat a Pop Tart for breakfast, and open a bottle
of wine when you get home at night.
There is a networking
function at
7 p.m. downtown. You have been working diligently since
9 a.m. and now it is
4:30 p.m. You are tired but know that networking is a key to success.
Still, you get in your car at
5 p.m. and drive home.
If the above situations
happen on occasion, that is one thing. But, if this is a regular
pattern, something needs to change. Of course most people already
know this, but the actual steps of how to change are not well known.
People are often under the illusion that if someone possesses a great
desire and intent to change, then that person will make these wanted
changes.
As said, this is
often just an illusion. Wanting and intending to change are necessary
mental states to reach a personal goal, but additional thought and
active behavioral steps are needed before real change can happen.
Here are some suggestions that can help you make the changes you
truly feel you want so you can reach your goals.
Suggestion
#1 Set positive goals. You don't have to see the world
in a positive Pollyannaish light all of the time, but you are
advised to structure your goals as to what you ARE going to do
and not what you ARE NOT going to do.
Human brains are
wired to accomplish tasks, thus setting a course of what you ARE
going to do is much easier to achieve than figuring out your next
step when you are attempting to NOT do something. For example, you
are far more likely to be successful in reaching the goal of making
three new outreach phone calls one day rather than setting a goal
of NOT surfing the Internet on a particular day.
Suggestion
#2 Spend five minutes each day visualizing what your
life looks like after you have made your desired changes. Your
boss is constantly praising your work in front of your coworkers.
You feel stronger, are standing taller and have more energy each
day now that you are exercising regularly, eating better and
drinking less alcohol. You are writing a new contract that accounts
for 10 percent of your job position's monthly financial goal.
Suggestion
#3 Figure out what you can do and start there. Asking
yourself to exercise 60 minutes a day, seven days a week when
you haven't even broken a sweat in the last month is an unreasonable
request of yourself. But if you know you can get to an exercise
class one to two times this week, then that is where you should
start.
Or what about staying
an extra half hour at work next week and responding via e-mail to
everyone in your inbox? You could also ask a friend to meet you at
the next networking event and then together meet three new people
who you plan to follow up with the next workday.
Suggestion
#4 The more data you collect, the better. Keep a personal
journal or log of the behavior you are trying to change. Research
shows that recording your behavior, even if you don't actively
try to modify it, leads to positive behavior change.
People who record
their sales calls, eating and exercise behaviors and attempts at
being more assertive in meetings are all more likely to yield positive
results than those who have not monitored and recorded these behaviors.
Furthermore, changing
a pattern of behavior requires you to know your behavior patterns.
Knowing what environmental, emotional and/or physical stimulus contributes
to continuing patterns of unwanted behavior provides understanding
into why you continue to act out problematic behaviors. This knowledge
allows you to intervene on many levels such as modifying your environment
and/or managing your internal emotions to create behavior changes
that positively affect your external world.
There is plenty
of scientific data to show that the above four suggestions are just
what you need to be successful in making desired behavioral changes
happen in your life. These suggestions to changing actual behavior
can be rather simple.
If you already
have the desire and intent to change, you now need to take action
to make change happen in your life. Start with one of the above suggestions
or try all four at once. You can make change happen.
(Rahn is a clinical
psychologist and founder of Flourish StudiosT, a self- and family-
development center in
Chicago . In addition to running Flourish StudiosT and working individually
as a therapist with her clients, Rahn is a speaker and consultant.
To find out more, visit www.icanflourish.com or
call 773-281-8130.)  |
